To start off the evening, I would like to get something incredibly important off of my chest. I hate "LOL." Like, genuinely despise the acronym. I want the acronym to go play with "Imma Be" in traffic. Or be thrown into the oil spill prior to the oil being burned up. Or be made into tablet form and thrown into Rush Limbaugh's typical diet. Do you get it? Which one is it, anyway? "Laugh out loud" or "Lots of laughs." OMG, I don't fucking care.
In other news, today I competed in the Warrior Dash. Description: something about mud, sweat and beer. I really don't think you can get any more accurate than that. The race was held out in small town USA, where the people are supposed to be friendly and inviting. Well, that's bull shit. Small town USA can kiss my ass. If I have to hear "this is private property" one more time, I may consider buying the adjacent land and pointing speakers at their house/business on remote control so that I can blare "Imma Be" - on repeat - and stop it right before the Sheriff's Department can roll in and do something to stop it permanently. I would gladly pay that fine, either way.
Can you freaking believe it is May? I have been unemployed for over 2 months. Is it possible for your muscles to atrophy even though you still get up and walk to the bathroom/kitchen? My mom's couch has a permanent indention of my ass. I keep telling myself I need to rotate the cushions, but then I remember that I don't give a shit and I'm far too lazy to muster up enough energy and determination to stand up for the 3 minutes to accomplish this feat.
Hhmm, is it becoming more clear as to why I'm unemployed. How did I not get laid off sooner?
- Its Complicated is damn funny and you need to watch it immediately.
Speaking of, why was that phrase ever thought up? Every relationship is complicated, so Facebook might as well take away "married to," "in a relationship with," "engaged to," etc and have the only option be "Its complicated with" and "Its complicated" (for those "sssssiiiiiiinnnnggggggllleeee!" people out there).
Okay, Dragon Slayer - out.
Love me, miss me, call me.
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