Willkommen is to Welcome as Schlampe is to...

Welcome, welcome. Go ahead and kick your heels up (but please put them immediately down, you're scuffing up my fancy Ikea furniture). I hope you're open-minded and not easily offended. Want to know a little bit about me? I'm twenty-something, beautiful, unemployed, crazy smart and live in a shitty city that I can't wait to get the hell out of.

The main purpose of this blog is to become famous. Is there any other real reason for starting a blog? Actually, I guess there are other reasons, I'll just highlight the ones that I, personally, see far too many of.

1) The Tracking Family Blog.

This blog is started by a new mom who lives in a city not occupied by most of her family/close friends. Most entries contain pictures of the little bundles of joys in varying stages of life and very little text. They're also really peppy. And really make me want to vomit.

2) The Artist Blog.

These blogs showcase the amateur or professional artwork of those wounded souls who are merely looking for validation in their sad little lives. If you ever come across one of these blogs, you must comment. You must comment happy, encouraging things unless you want to hear that some random artist was found dead in their loft apartment.

3) The Sports Commentary Blog.

The best variation of this blog is the "all-female" cast of writers. Supposedly, this is some great spin on what ESPN and other major news networks can offer because it's females, right? Incorrect. It's actually just a couple of females who are so hardcore in proving they're not girly that it is basically just a couple of dudes talking about sports, but intervening every now and then with OMG Hawtness.

But enough of that, do you wanna see this awesome painting that my nephew drew while watching the Mavs v. Spurs game?

So, back to my becoming famous. In reality, I just need someone to come along and decide to sponsor this fun little shindig so that all I do during the day is wait for someone/thing to irritate me (HA!) and write it out into words for all of you lovelies to enjoy. I wouldn't even have to leave my my mom's couch.

Oh, and Post to the Scriptizzle, this blog is meant to be anonymous. So that potential employers who are actually interested in me won't stumbleupon it and reject my unemployed, smartass ass. That being said, if you know who I am, keep your damn mouth shut (Love you, mean it).

Miss me, love me, call me.