I love the ability I have to "like" things on Facebook. I actually feel we don't have enough of that power. Not only do I want to "like" people's statuses, activities and photos, but I want to be able to "like" comments on statuses. When will those Harvard nerds get on this??
Maybe it's because I'm unemployed and have extra time to troll the internet or maybe it is merely because I love liking, but I have gone overboard with this fun feature of Facebook. In fact, I find myself trying to figure out where the "like" feature is whenever I see someone's gchat status. I WANT TO LIKE IT! NOW!
My Facebook friends have started commenting on my lightning fast speed of liking various activities. I'm afraid they're going to come at me with an intervention and change the password to my account so that I can't get on (a la Kirstie Alley). OMG, just the thought of it has me hyperventilating a bit.
In other news, I'm required to do five job searches a week to qualify for unemployment (thanks, US Government!). But, with me not knowing what I want to do when i grow up, I've been stalking Craigslist and applying to various personal assistant jobs because I think it'll be as glamorous as it is in Entourage (I would gladly make mad love to Ari Gold). Well, someone took the bait and sent me an email in response to my resume (which is so damn impressive, I must say).
Here are some snip-pits (which, I must ask - is that the accurate spelling of that? It's what Firefox told me...) of this glorious email this guy sent me:
"This position is home-based and flexible, working with me is basically about instructions and following them, my only fear is that I may come at you impromptu sometimes, so I need someone who can be able to meet up with my irregular timings."
Okay, pause. I was a Journalism major. I've indicated as much on my resume. Journalism = grammar. But, okay, sir, please continue.
"I'm sure you'll understand I tend to have a very busy schedule at this point, as I am presently in Canada and i will be back in Three Weeks time."
Three weeks time? Who is this guy?
"I think you're the right person for this position, (Wait, what position is that?) Please note that this position is not office based for now because of my frequent travels and tight schedules, it's a part-time work from home and the flexibility means that there will be busier weeks than others, so it's a little difficult judging the exact number of hours you'll be doing per week."
Okay, seriously. Who is this guy?
"As I have said, I'd want us to get a head START with things as soon as possible. (I don't remember him saying that) I do have lots of works piled up presently and a number of unattended chores which you can immediately assist me with, I hope we can meet up with the workload eventually. Permit me to use this week to test your efficiency and diligence towards all this, also to work out your time schedule and fit it to mine.
Keep in mind, this guy still hasn't told me what it is that he does! I'm scared. Did I give this guy my address? Shit.
"I'm online most of the time as I am hard of hearing (Fuck, now I feel like an asshole) so I prefer we contact each other through E-mails, but if there is need for me to call, i will be glad to do that. I have been checking my files and what i would want you to do for me this week is to run some errands out to some of the orphanage home. I do that every month. "
What's the word for big asshole? 'Cause that's what I feel like now.
The email was much longer than this and included a "job description" which I was to sign and get back to him. How can I sign a job description when I don't even know what kind of work this guy does? And who hires someone without at least talking to them? And who works for someone without some kind of a guarantee that he/she will be compensated?!
Okay, no more Craigslist for me...
Miss me, love me, call me.
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