SIIIIIIIIIIIIINNGLLLLLLLLLEE!!!

I'm not embarassed easily. People do a lot of things to me or around me and I try to find the humorous parts in it so that I won't hang my head and hope I never see the people around me again. I learned a long time ago that the chances are I will NOT see those people again. Also, I just don't give a damn.

That being said, I have got to tell you a story that involves an embarassment (maybe not so much MY embarassment) and hilariousness (yeah, it's a word).

It was May of 2009. One of my friends from law school was soon to be a Mrs. and I, along with the entire wedding party (all, what, 25 of us?) and friends and family of the bride and groom were pre-partying at the rehearsal dinner at a fabulous italian restaurant in downtown Austin, Texas.

Okay, let me back up for a second. You see that I wrote "law school." Yes, it is true, I was in law school. I had also withdrawn from law school before this wedding. Also, I had every intention of NOT drinking at the rehearsal dinner because I had to be up at 7am the next day and would never have a chance for a nap (as the wedding was at 2pm).

Now, back to the rehearsal dinner. It started becoming a free-for-all in terms of toasts. If you felt so compelled, you could stand up with your glass and tell a story about the bride and/or groom. Well, groomsman after groomsman continued to stand up and tell stories about the groom. I, after about 3 or 4 glasses of wine, was getting irritated that no one was standing up and saying anything about my girl. So, I took it upon myself to get up and regale my audience the diners of stories about the bride. I stood up and said: "Okay, well I was getting sick of hearing so many stories about the groom, so I felt it necessary that one of her friends say something about the bride. When I first met the groom...." And I dramatically paused awaiting the onslaught of laughs, claps and murmurs about how funny that girl is, when all I was met with were crickets. And pins dropping. And I believe I could hear "woo girls!" on 6th Street two blocks over. I was tempted to tap at my "microphone" and ask if this thing was on. Actually, I think I might have. I may have also started quoting, "Bueller? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?" But, alas, I persevered and kept going about how the groom called me a bitch and we became friends instantly. Then, I went on to tell of how I met the bride. "The bride and I went to law school together. Please note the past tense of that word. We went to law school together. I dropped out. Guys, I'm SIIIIIIINNNNNGLLLLEEE!!!!" At this point, another friend of mine from law school and fellow bride's attendant, started tapping me in the arm and whispering "Just say Congratulations and sit down." Hell, why stop there? I had to try to redeem myself. Which I did. And teared up over my own sentimentality (but, I won't bore you with that crap).

Now, let's move onto the reception. I was at the bar getting a refill on my whisky and coke, when a group of guys walked up next to me. A couple of them were groomsmen and a few others were mere mortals. One of the groomsman recognized me, looked to his friends and said, "Guys! This is her! The 'I'm Single!' girl!" Yes, my notoriety was already spreading.

Since then, I hear more and more jokes about that night - even from people who weren't even there! Apparently, even the groom, on his honeymoon, would randomly shout out "SIIIIIIIIINNGLLLEE!!"

And yes, dear readers, I am still single.