Sorry to the "readers" for my lack of posting recently. In my defense though, there is little to no positive reinforcement for this well written BLOG and my psyche has had to recover from my hilarious work going unnoticed and/or unappreciated.
ANYWAY, guilt trip over. My computer program I need so I can work is down so CONGRATULATIONS! YOU GET A NEW POST! Now I just need to decide what to write about...
Well, I saw Eclipse yesterday. Yes, I'm talking about the third installment of the Twilight Saga. I don't know why I keep paying money to see these damn movies. I mean, I read all the books and did NOT enjoy them. In fact, I would berate myself every night right before falling asleep for spending so much time reading a book I clearly was NOT going to get into. Let's face it- if you weren't hooked 30 pages into Book 1, you were NOT going to EVER be hooked. It's the same pouty bull shit over and over again. Granted, each book was better than the last, but that's like saying that the book has improved from fourth in the Special Olympics to bronze, then silver, and finally gold. No matter how much better the book does, it's still retarded.
SERIOUSLY!!! I normally can grasp why people become FANATICAL over a passing fad because I, myself, love embracing passing fads (i.e., Hanson, BSB [first album + The Call ONLY], N*Sync [2nd album ONLY], SNICK, Fruit Stripes gum, etc...) But this? I don't get it.
C'mon ladies- seiously! Why would she EVER pick that STUPID, sad, moping, pale vamper when she could have Jacob aka Hunka-hunka Burnin' Love! You have GOT to give that kid props for his body! You've also got to remind yourself that he's supposed to be playing a 16 year old in the movies so it is NOT okay to let you're mind get X-tina style dirrrrrrrrty.
(Side note- I think I just chipped my tooth on the peach I'm eating...and not on the seed. My dentist appointment yesterday obviously did not take...)
ANYWAY, the movie was as disappointing as I expected it would be. In fact, I fell asleep and APPARENTLY started snoring during a "romantic" scene. The bitch (gayman) sitting behind me kicked my seat and rudely hissed, "How can you sleep when there's so much sexual tension!?" SEXUAL TENSION MY ASS!!!! THEY DON'T DO IT TIL THE FOURTH AND FINAL BOOK! Edward's "afraid" he'll KILL HER! Pa-LEASE! Sounds more like E.D. to me. Maybe Bella should slip a little blue pill into his next pint of "vegatarian" blood and see if he's STILL afraid he'll kill her. GOD those books are SO STUPID!
Preacher loves you and your limp dicked boyfriend
5 comments:
Okay, I know you're not looking for validation from me, but I have to tell yoi that I'm sitting in my car, waiting to get my drink on with of my employees, reading your post on my tiny ass Blackberry and I just started crying from laughing so hard at "limp dicked boyfriend."HILARIOUS.
Also, I tried changing my facebook name to "Dragon Slayer" but that bitch said it wasn't a "real" name.
i ALWAYS look for validation from you! KEEP THEM COMMENTS COMING! Positive reinforcement GUARANTEES I will post again!
Oh, and on the FB drama- just tell them it's an Indian name. Trust me, they'll fold on the issue.
It's not ED, it's bullshit about how in the "Old days" people waited for marriage to have sex... BUUULLL Shit.
People were definitely gettin' their sex on, well before marriage. If they got the girl pregnant, they married her then, it wasn't about Love, it was about Raising Kids. That's why they didn't have as much divorce. It's because they had no illusions.
Great post.
Every time Edward came on the screen I wanted to vomit in your mouth.
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